I made this quote!
Fuck it. In my class i was made fun of. If you saw my last post (i suggest you check it out!) Roberto call me gullible bc i thought his damn fake love note was real. I wanted to pick a fight with him soooo bad! I thought of something to say to him if he does it again "Enjoy it Roberto, cause thats what sluts do". Lol ik, a 13 Reasons Why reference. My mom got rid of Netflix and i never finished 13RW. I never finished it bc i was scared that my mom would find out and yell at me. But i wanna get the book and read it.
okay, let me get one thing straight. I'm tired. Tired of people telling me my feelings are invalid just because I'm a teenager. Tired of hearing that I don't know how to love just because I'm not an adult. Tired of assuming and contemplating that everything that happened was just fake. Dear people, I get it, you're older than me, more wiser than me and whatever you're telling me you think it's for my own good. But listen up. My feelings are not invalid. If you can feel hate towards someone why can't you feel love? Does love have a age limit? Does my heart not process feelings till l'm an adult? Even a child is capable of love, or would you go ahead and call his love for his mother just affection'? Is that so? If we can't love when we are young, then is all of it fake? You're telling me wasted years of my life just being "attracted to someone? I get it. We're young, we are immature but that doesn't mean we don't know how to feel. We feel, we do feel so deeply that it leaves us scarred for life. We just don't know what to do with all the emotion and it often goes to waste when we mistakes and fuck up, but that never means we don't know how to love. have seen people who are young and happy with their other halfs and I have seen adults who, as you say, are capable of love, yet they can't handle relationship. We all are humans, we all have a heart and we a have a soul. Age doesn't justify what you feel for another person. You make mistakes, you fall apart but at-least you cared. Cared enough to fight something, cared enough to have something real in this fake world. I'm not saying it's love when you meet the first boy you ever cared for. It's not love at that very moment, Love is a feeling that develops over time, it's a bond between two souls, regardless of age. You can have a dozen boyfriends before you actually find your soul mate. It can happen when your 16 or when you'r 60. Just because some people find it earlier doesn't mean you have to go tell them that no, this isn't love. Imagine finding something so pure, so young, just to have people doubting you. Please, don't tell us it's not love. It triggered the living shit out of me.
Growing up my father had a strange sense of humor and thought it was fun to tell me things like “you’re ugly” “you’re fat” and comment on the food I ate or if I dressed up he had to put me down instead of complimenting me. When I was a child, I thought it was an inside joke between us, always sending these insults back and forth with each other. But as I got older the harsh words started to stick and became the voice in my head every step of every day.
The words you tell yourself become increasingly true the longer you say them, making it like an act of conditioning. A dog can be conditioned to sit when told to sit like a human can be conditioned to feel disgust every time they look at themselves. But that also means there is hope to retrain your mind into better thoughts. If we can wake up everyday and say “I hate myself” then we can learn to wake up and say “I will learn to love myself”. That one thought, that one statement, can change everything. The saying “fake it til you make it” plays a huge part in this. We don’t have to feel like what we are saying is true, we just have to pretend it is. And one day there will be that “oh” moment where the mirror no longer reflects flaws and hatred, but instead glows beauty and self love! It’s all about perspective of the mind. This is only an example but it works with other things too! Saying “I will have a good day” or “I will try my best today” can have a large impact as well.
Don’t let your house become dark and painful to live in because life is long and it’s worth fixing your house so the rest of your time here is the best it can be, both for the sake of you and everyone you love. 💜
With all my love -Lanie