Oh, hey. Don't mind me. I'm just over here doing the happy dance, and smiling like a Powerball winner, because I just got an awesome phone call from one of my clients, Jonathan.
Jonathan has been avoiding crowds for years, because of his anxiety disorder. He's missed weddings, graduations, birthday parties, and every other important event, over the years, that involved a lot of people.
He'd been constantly lying to his family. He always made up an excuse why he couldn't attend. Only his wife knew the truth about his anxiety.
He started to feel guilty about lying to his grandchildren. That's why he contacted me for coaching.
He felt shame for never going to his granddaughter's softball games.
But those days are over...Jonathan called me and joyfully gave me the news. He had just watched his granddaughter play softball for the first time. 🙌 WOO-HOO!
And of course, because the universe always rewards you for taking risks...she hit a home run. Let the church say amen.
And now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going back over here to crank up some Earth Wind & Fire, and continue my happy dance. 😃
Today I have a heavy heart but a hopeful one as well. I know good times are intertwined and that is why I am hopeful. Sometimes I wish I didn't feel so much.
Lets keep dreaming and conquering fears. Lets keep fighting this battle together! 💚💪🏼
Finally sitting down!! My head has felt very cloudy recently. And I can't shake it, I had a big panic attack Monday morning and have felt groggy since! Was the first one in a couple of months so now im drained! So I've had a great big deep clean of the flat!! Walls, cupboards, everything!! And now I feel so much better. Ready for my day off tomorrow!! Aaaaand relax!!! #chillout#mytime#springclean#fresh#anxiety#depression#panicattack
Black coffee and pajamas. Because sometimes you need something extra to get you through the bedtime routine.
It's been a conflicted day today. I woke up super nervous for my PTSD therapy this afternoon. Reliving work involves going over the worst trauma so that your brain reprocesses it. I was supposed to do this every day but didn't do it at all since my last session. As someone with autism, I find it basically impossible to do anything illogical or irrational and everything in my mind was telling me to run away from this therapy.
I did nothing all morning and when it became time to leave, I was pretty set on just not going. I forced myself to go and speak to my therapist about my concerns. I am no stranger to the NHS mental health system and I know that once therapy ends, they drop you like a rock. I had about five more sessions and was terrified that this trauma work would reopen wounds and then I'd be left in a mess with no support. To my surprise, my therapist agreed. She said that she was concerned we wouldn't have enough time to complete the treatment and I pointed out that my brain takes longer to process things anyway, so if anything I'd need longer than other people.
I feel like I've been picking at the same wound for months now. Since the trauma, I've been having PTSD symptoms and where this wasn't healing, I just kept poking and prodding it with anxiety and treatments. The one thing I haven't done yet is let it rest and see where it settles. Last year I couldn't do that because I was in such a bad mental state but I've moved on a lot in the last twelve months.
I decided to stop therapy. I want to try to move on and let my brain breathe without constant treatment. I need to let the dust settle and enjoy other things. I want to enjoy starting university and not let the trauma poison this exciting time. This morning I felt weak but now I have the conviction that sometimes the strongest thing is to know when to stop. Maybe I'll return to PTSD therapy at a better time or maybe my wounds will heal enough once they have been left. No therapy will ever take this trauma away but one way or another, I have to find somewhere to put it and move on.
Excuse the self-indulgent post and gratuitous swearing for a moment - I don't think people talk about their achievements enough, however small. Today, I felt fucking awful. I had broken sleep, and from the minute I woke up, my anxiety and low mood just made me feel like crap. To try and explain it to those who don't suffer, imagine your brain feeling as though it's full of cotton wool, feeling completely lethargic, yet also in a complete panic about nothing you can put your finger on (imagine you've got to make a tricky phone call, that kind of feeling). It's an effort to smile as everything just feels flat and it's an effort to even hold a conversation with someone.
Despite this, I did a full day of work in a job that's particularly social and revolves around talking (I might have been a grumpy sod to those around me, but I did it!) and actually managed to be fairly productive.
When I got home, all I wanted to do was crawl into bed, watch shit tv and eat shit food, but I also knew that would have made me feel worse in the long run so I bullied myself into going out for a half hour jog/walk.
It's not a miracle cure by any means but it's better than just sitting on my arse and it was bloody hard to get out of the house so I'm going to shout about it.
Huge telepathic hugs to anyone else who suffers from mental health problems because it's bloody awful and we need to talk about it more. There is no shame or stigma in being ill!
"My choir teacher informed my parents my voice is hurt. My Dream is to sing and the thought of that coming to an end is terrorizing. I decided to wear this necklace my mom bought me a few years ago to fidget with, all day it kept me from panicking.
Something that makes me smile is dancing!
For 18 years I've "seen" these signs in many places. Most times they weren't really there. Once I started walking through despite them, they started to disappear. Avoiding will always make anxiety worse in the long term. Taking little steps in the direction of what you fear can bring miraculous results. If you're going through hell, keep going. Never surrender. Keep at it. #agoraphobia#anxiety#panicattack#cbt#claustrophobia#panicdisorder
#whenyourhubbybuysyouacar#amotherfuckingcar#holyshit#shesmine#babybloobs#excited#new#car#sillyme#ivebeenasking for a 💍😂 #better
It's actually a really big deal to me. My #anxiety has gotten so bad over the last couple months that I've actually stopped leaving the apartment. Ive only been out a handful of times. And I have a #panicattack the entire time were out. My heart races, my stomach tightens, I start sweating, I have to go the washroom. There is no washroom. Why did I leave the apartment I just want to cry. It's really really difficult. My anxiety has never ever been this bad before. Now I have panic attacks even thinking about going out. I'm having one right now.
Dan knows this. He wanted me to have a way to get out by myself, without having to worry about busses or whatever. So I can get us groceries (where would I put them in the stroller? - I can only get so much.) The stroller already weighs like 80lbs. And I have to push that all over the whole time I'm out. The bus ride means I'm out for at least two hours just to go to Walmart and buy a handful of groceries? That's crazy.
Dan says it gets worse every single time we go out. I'm sad I don't want to feel like this. Today I went down and drove the car around the parking lot. It was nice. I haven't even driven since Dan and I have been together. I even reversed back into a spot😂 (when I drove before I had only driven for 6 months and had taught myself, illegally 🙈.. then my mom gave the car I was driving to my brother. So I don't really have much experience) My license expired when I was 8 months pregnant and taking care of a toddler. I had no clue, it had been so long since I've driven... I'm working on me now. I can't teach my beautiful little children to be afraid of everything.
It will take a bit to get it on the road, but the same could be said of me. :P
This is a #lifechanger . it might be my life saver. #reallife#truestory#honest#motherhood
Ich will mal nicht von meinem Tag erzählen. Ich tu gerade in YouTube meine 'alten Lieder' hören wo ich mit 9 Jahren oder so gehört habe. Dabei fällt mir gerade auf, dass ich schon als Kind 'depressive Musik' gehört habe. Als Kind habe ich die Texte von den Liedern nicht wirklich verstanden, aber jetzt fange ich langsam an zu weinen, weil es mich so berührt. Meine Musikrichtung ändert sich auch irgendwie. 'Früher' (vor paar Monaten oder vielleicht 1-2 Jahren) habe ich Lieder aus den Charts gehört, jetzt finde ich das nicht mehr so 'gut' und höre Linkin Park, Green Day, Eisblume, LaFee, Oomph!, Casper und und und.... Ich weiß das ich mich verändert habe, aber so arg? Ich habe angefangen mich zu ritzen und letztes Jahr mit dem Rauchen. Ich erkenne mich selbst nicht mehr, wenn ich überlege, wie ich z.B. letztes Jahr war. Was ist nur aus meinem 'Ich' geworden?
➡Partnerseiten: @x_unverstandene_x @verlorenes_ziel⬅
CHALLENGE! I want to start accessing the use of art in coping with mental health. I would love to see the little doodles people create and to hear how doodling/drawing/painting/etc. helps in terms of coping with mental illness. share your artwork with #realityartchallenge or DM it to us if you'd like to remain anonymous! 💛
"my anxiety last night was at a high point. i woke up today and wanted to not do anything, not go to class, not get out of bed. but i'm in my art class now and i'm happy i'm here, even if it's just pride that i had the determination this morning... not to mention that i haven't had coffee yet, which is a real tragedy
something that makes me smile is art"
So for the first time in months I had a panic attack today :(. Instead of dwelling of what happened though I decided to edit a few pictures I took the other day whilst out with some amazing people I consider family. This was the best distraction! #mylife#familyfirst#panicattack#anxietysucks#iwillsurvive
This is the face of #mentalillness 💔 I know it looks just like some #shamelessselfie but it has been a STRUGGLE for me these past few weeks. Between the disruption from Irma, our infertility struggle, & some big changes happening all around me, it has hit my mental state hard. My #anxiety feels like I could have another panic attack at any moment & my #depression wants me to curl up in bed & hide. It is HARD for me to just get ready & get out the door. I am so grateful to have medications & a strong support system to lean on during these rough times! But I'm sharing this just as a reminder that there is no one 'face' of mental illness. It is a mean, cruel disease that doesn't have some outward sign, but it is still a very real illness- like like another other! If you are living with any mental illness, I applaud you for pushing through & especially for getting help when you need it. As for me, I'm getting extra acupuncture needles for my anxiety this morning & dragging my butt to the gym, even though no part of me wants to go. I encourage you to do some self-care today too! And as always, I send you all so much love & light ❤
Wow if I told half of what I deal with for symptoms no one would be here... when someone says it’s in the mind tell them “yeah I know that’s why it’s called mental illness”
And it affects the body as well in more ways than you can imagine. So I’ve been walking around well barely walking and couldn’t understand why my joints were so achy. I’ve never had that problem but now as the years pass, stress can cause joint pain. I’ve been in so much pain and was panicking about everything else but this. My mind went into so many spirals. I can’t even tell you all the illnesses webmd provided
Note: when you have a mental disorder, stay off webmd!
Learning to adapt to last minute changes or plans is not one of my strong points. 🙄 So when the game plan all day is lasagna for dinner and you brown the meat, start boiling water and go to get out all you ingredients just to find out you ran out of lasagna pasta... it's border line melt down mode. you've been craving this meal all day and at the last minute you're mad at yourself for not double checking a basic ingredient.
This year though I'm REALLY trying to roll with the punches... So hmm what else can you do with sausage for a a family that half the little people only like eggs when they're baked in to something and don't taste at all like eggs? (Example🍩🍰🥞🍪 etc etc) Biscuits and gravy that's what. Just to start mixing the ingredients for biscuits and realize I only have wheat flour and I have yet to make fluffy bread with wheat flour. Then I remember making biscuits with pancake mix with my dad growing up so I figure I'll try something like that. Get all the dry ingredients together and butter go to grab the milk aaaaand I have no milk. (ahhhh the kids finished it with breakfast 🤦🤦🤦) think... Ok I have about half a cup of heavy whipping cream if I dilute that with water and cross my fingers reeeeal hard maybe it will taste alright.
Hallelujah everything thickened up just right... The kids LOVED the biscuits! The gravy was spot on not to rich not to blah... Amazing actually! 😉
Husband came home with milk and we were able to stretch out half the batch for everyone to have 3rds and 4ths. After an emotional long day running errands and high stress event of making dinner... Turns out some comfort food of biscuits and gravy was just what I needed! 😍 :