I have been in a creative rut lately. I think that means I can't create, or I haven't the motivation or energy to create. I have not been feeling inspired because of the black bile of winter fatigue, I have told myself.
I have a few "catch alls" to explain unwelcome behaviors. Anxiety is a big one. Sometimes I'll throw in my dad. "Why were you late today," my friend will ask. "Oh, it was just dad." /
I rearranged my room this weekend, cleaned it too. Then, I went to my first photoshoot of 2018 and felt inspired.
Two winters ago, I was going through some shit. Like really in the thick of it, so I cut my hair short. I looked at myself in the mirror the next morning and cried and cried and cried. I later understood I was mourning myself. I cut my hair short as a physical manifestation of my internal rearranging. I wasn't crying about my fucking hair. My hair is my hair is my hair.
I'm trying to stop blaming anxiety for life, maybe even let dad off the hook sometimes. So I rearranged my room, and I got inspired again.
¿Será cierto eso de que nos enseñan antes a envidiar que a admirar? La envidia te hace daño, la admiración te hará crecer, piensalo. Es fácil.
Modelo y maquillaje: @hazzatumbo
Fotografia, edicion, vestuario e idea original: @ireneziel
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