📝P I L L O W T H O U G H T S
Opening my eyes to a damped face and weak bones
Stiff and still
I lay on my back as I watch the ceiling move further away from me.
With the pressure of this guilt, I’m thinking of all the things I’d rather be.
I can still feel the coldest spirit that just left the room
He always leaves before day break
One day I pray he’s too late
and get caught, right on top of me.
The ache in my chest is still fresh from the night before
when the beast had his way and made his roar.
I turn my face into the pillow with the rest of the salt dried stains.
How much longer can I bare this pain?
In between my legs lies embarrassment
and the torn scares are open womb memories.
My skin is still clammy, sticky and frail
Laying here In my thoughts as the sun slowly rises to kiss my cheek,
soaking and drowning from the lies and secrets covered in these sheets.
I see the way they look at me.
All my friends say they wish they were me and had my life,
but never once asked me for the price.
They say I always look so happy and free
not knowing all the ugly I see at night and the size of this devil I’m forced to fight.
Not knowing that the sight of a bed puts a throbbing pain between my legs so
I prefer to sleep on a floor secured with a few dead bolt locks on the door.
I’m running out of time to clear my head
It’s clear my chances of escaping are dead
and now the time has come for me to get out of this bed
I just can’t help but think of all the fights I fought.
These are just my pillow time thoughts. .
swipe for part seven of "idiopathic" !!
happy thanksgiving my darlings ! i'm thankful for every single one of you. the feedback, the random messages, the group chats i've been apart of, you all make writing worth it.